Caring for Someone You Love? Start by Taking One Thing Off Your List

If you’re helping a parent manage appointments, supporting a spouse through treatment, or checking on a friend after surgery, start with one question: What could someone else take over this week?

Caregiving can fill the spaces around a job, parenting, and everything else you’re already doing. Even when each task seems small, being the person who keeps track of all of them can leave little room for your own needs.

TELUS Health’s The Heart of the Helper offers guidance for people supporting someone they love. Here are a few ways to put support into motion, including resources available in Washington.

Turn an offer of help into a specific assignment

When someone says, “Let me know if you need anything,” give them a task with a clear finish:

• “Could you bring dinner on Tuesday? Something we can reheat would be great.”
• “Can you handle the ride to Thursday’s appointment and bring Dad home afterward?”
• “Could you research two transportation options and send me their prices by Friday?”

The National Institute on Aging recommends dividing responsibilities into smaller tasks and matching requests to people’s skills and interests. Someone who lives far away may still be able to arrange deliveries or research services.

For recurring help, agree on who handles the whole task. Having a sibling arrange the weekly grocery order takes more off your list than asking them to pick up items you still have to select and organize.

Put your own health on the calendar

The National Institute on Aging also recommends keeping up with your own medical care and telling your clinician that you’re a caregiver. Sleep, meals, movement, and time with people you enjoy can slip when someone else’s needs keep coming first.

Choose one thing you’ve postponed and make room for it: book your appointment, arrange coverage for a regular walk, or ask someone to handle dinner one night each week. A specific plan is easier to act on than another promise to take better care of yourself.

Arrange a break that includes coverage

A free afternoon only becomes a break when someone else can safely handle the care that’s needed.

Respite care provides temporary care so the regular caregiver can step away. Depending on the arrangement, it can happen at home, at an adult day center, or in a residential care setting.

In Washington, the Family Caregiver Support Program helps unpaid caregivers of adults find resources, including training, support groups, counseling, and respite options. Ask your local Area Agency on Aging how to connect with the program.

When you call, explain what help is needed and ask about eligibility, cost, and availability. If you’re exploring respite, describe the person’s care needs so staff can help you look for an appropriate option.

At work, make the next few weeks easier to plan

Employers can offer concrete support by discussing appointment schedules, reviewing available leave, and making a backup plan for time-sensitive work. A manager might ask, “Which deadlines or meeting times are hardest to manage right now?” Then agree on any adjustments and a date to check in again.

Share support resources with the whole team so employees can find them privately. BHT employers can share the TELUS flyer alongside their employee assistance program information.

Ask for support for yourself, too

If caregiving is leaving you overwhelmed, anxious, or isolated, talk with your clinician or a mental health professional. Employees with access to TELUS Health’s EAP can call 800-245-1150 to discuss their benefits and support options with a care coordinator. The number is also listed on BHT’s member resources page.

This week, choose one task to hand off, one appointment to make, or one support service to contact. Put a name and a date beside it so the next step is ready to happen.