Why Your Doctor May Ask About Loneliness

If your provider asks how connected you feel lately, it’s not small talk. Questions like “Do you have someone to talk to?” or “Do you feel isolated?” are becoming more common—and for good reason.

Loneliness has real health consequences. It’s been linked to higher risks of depression, anxiety, heart disease, stroke, dementia, and even premature death. The U.S. Surgeon General called it a public health concern, pointing to research that shows social disconnection can carry a similar risk to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

You don’t have to feel “alone” all the time for it to matter, as loneliness is about the gap between the connection you want and what you actually have. It can show up quietly—even if you’re surrounded by people.

That’s why some clinics now screen for it the same way they screen for blood pressure or tobacco use. Tools like the three-question UCLA scale (asking how often you feel left out, isolated, or lacking companionship) are used to get a quick read on how you’re doing.

If this is something you’re dealing with, you’re not the only one—and you don’t have to fix it all at once.

Start small:

• Text someone you trust—let them know you’re thinking of them, and suggest a time to catch up, even if it’s just a quick call.

• Build in something regular, like a weekly class, a walk with a neighbor, or a short standing check-in with a friend—consistency matters more than intensity.

• Ask your doctor or HR rep if there are local resources worth checking out; a lot of support is already built into your health plan or community, it just doesn’t always show up unless you ask.

• Limit the mindless scrolling… Trade a few minutes of swiping for one real interaction—call, text, voice note, whatever feels low-effort but real.

If your loneliness is tied to grief, anxiety, or depression, bring it up with a provider. Mental health support is part of your overall care.

The point isn’t to suddenly become more social. The point is to build real connection, bit by bit, in a way that fits your life. And if your doctor brings it up—it’s because it matters.